How Motherhood Led Me Back to Grad School

By Abby Waychoff, OTR/L, PMH-C, RYT

I was prepared for birth. I had taken the classes and read the books. I was planning an unmedicated, low-intervention birth and would go on to be an overflowing milkmaid for my son after he was born.

Spoiler: That did not happen.

My son's birth in 2016 did not go as planned. Medical complications necessitated a hasty delivery, followed by a postpartum period that was physically and emotionally challenging. I experienced pain, fear, exhaustion, and then, as happens with new motherhood, I was handed a baby and expected to figure it all out.

To say my postpartum period was challenging is an understatement. I was disappointed by my unrealized expectations of birth, but despite being in pain and feeling completely overwhelmed, I was determined to breastfeed my sweet boy. I nursed, and I pumped, and I pumped, and I nursed. I focused on building my supply. Once we got the physical practice of breastfeeding down, I went back to work. By then, my son’s sleep was garbage, and I was worrying about sleep schedules and wake windows in a futile attempt to control my reality.

I made my way through that first year and started to feel a bit more like myself. However, 14 months after giving birth, I went to my doctor and learned that I was experiencing pelvic floor issues related to my delivery and would benefit from pelvic floor therapy.

I was shocked, and I felt disappointed in my body. I also felt angry. Why didn't I know this could happen? Why did I have to recognize something was wrong before it was addressed? How did I know so little about my own body? And why did I feel like I was navigating all of this on an island?

That experience taught me something important about how we support new parents: sometimes what is needed is not one person or one provider, but a network of people with different areas of expertise working together. My own path toward healing involved learning from other professionals and seeking out information that helped me better understand what was happening in my body.

As an occupational therapist, I had access to continuing education that allowed me to do just that. I pursued pelvic floor rehabilitation courses, pre- and postnatal yoga certification, and a certification in Perinatal Mental Health through Postpartum Support International. With my growing knowledge and perspective as an OT, I began actively helping pregnant people and new parents. Over the next couple of years, I led workshops and groups, taught pre- and postnatal yoga, became a mother to my second son, and gained momentum toward my goal of working exclusively with new parents.

Then came 2021, a year that changed my life's direction.

Around that time, I was experiencing significant grief related to the death of a loved one. I was also navigating the demands of parenting young children, work, and the realization that life can change in ways we never anticipate. My career goals were put on hold for a while, and I spent a great deal of time thinking about what was important to me and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

As I began to find my footing again, I also had to acknowledge that the professional path I had been building was no longer quite where I wanted to be. I had spent years developing expertise around maternal health, but I kept coming back to the same realization: I wanted to be able to support parents not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well.

Fortunately, I am lucky enough to have some very good friends. One evening, one of those friends asked me, “If money and time and logistics were not a concern, what would you want to do?” Without hesitation, I blurted out, “I would be a mental health therapist who helps people navigate pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood.”

Her reply: “Well then, that’s what you need to do.” (And yes, said friend is a therapist herself.)

I started investigating my options the next day.

After researching schools and talking it over with my partner, I enrolled in a Master’s of Science in Mental Health Counseling program. For the past two years, I have juggled night classes with a job in healthcare while raising two very active, growing boys. My motivation has always been rooted in the belief that our time is precious and that it is never too late to pursue meaningful work.

No matter how challenging it is to keep all of the plates spinning, I owe it to myself to follow my passion and make meaningful use of the time I have.

And so, here I am, starting my counseling internship with Perinatal Mental Health Center of Chicago, and I could not be more excited.

My intention to work with the perinatal population has been my focus throughout my coursework, and I look forward to using my 18+ years of experience as an occupational therapist to inform my new role as a mental health provider. I am especially excited about the opportunity to work collaboratively with other professionals who support new and growing families. Physical health, mental health, relationships, sleep, feeding, and so many other pieces of the perinatal experience are interconnected. Supporting parents well often means recognizing that there is no single solution.

I am motivated by my own experiences as a new mother, as well as the many interactions and conversations I’ve had with other new parents over the years. We need to feel heard. We need to feel seen, and we need to be supported.

My intention is to be part of the scaffolding that helps other new parents navigate this sometimes seemingly impossible season of life. I hope to bring curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to meet each person where they are, and to recognize when additional support or another perspective might be helpful.

In preparing for this internship, I reminisced about my early postpartum days and looked at a blog I kept and shared while I was in the thick of it. Over the next couple of posts from me, I’ll share some of those entries to remind us that we’re all human, and that this parenting stuff is sometimes just really hard.