Preconception Questions

List gathered by Jen Kost, MSW, LCSW, PMH-C

Disclaimer:

This post explores some questions that can be helpful to reflect on before trying to conceive. Not everyone has the chance, or the choice, to plan in this way, and if that’s you: we see you. These prompts are meant to inspire curiosity, not to set expectations or timelines.

The following questions are designed to support thoughtful preconception planning when possible. Every fertility journey looks different, and not all pregnancies are planned or unfold under ideal circumstances.

While this post talks about preconception questions, I recognize that many paths to parenthood aren’t planned, linear, or even chosen. Take what feels supportive, and leave what doesn’t.

Emotional Readiness

1. How do we feel about expanding our family? Are we both equally excited and committed?

2. How has our experience with our current child(ren) shaped our desire for another?

3. Are we prepared for the emotional challenges of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum again?

4. How would we handle unexpected challenges, such as pregnancy complications or special needs?

Relationship & Support System

1. How has parenting impacted our relationship so far? What strengths and challenges do we see?

2. How will we ensure we maintain a strong partnership while navigating another child?

3. How do we feel about our support system?

4. How would adding another child impact our dynamic with our current child(ren)?

Physical & Mental Health

1. Am I (or is my partner) physically and mentally prepared for another pregnancy and postpartum period?

2. What was my (or my partner’s) previous pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience like, and how do I feel about going through it again?

3. Do we have access to the medical care and support we need?

Financial & Practical Considerations

1. Can we afford another child? Have we considered the costs of childcare, education, healthcare, and everyday expenses?

2. How would adding another child impact our work-life balance? Are we comfortable with the potential changes in career or income?

3. Do we have enough space in our home for another child? Would we need to move or make significant adjustments?

Lifestyle & Parenting Priorities

1. How will having another child impact our ability to spend quality time with our current child(ren) and each other?

2. What kind of lifestyle do we envision for our family, and would another child align with that vision?

3. Are we on the same page about parenting styles, discipline, and household responsibilities with another child?

4. How will another child affect our ability to prioritize self-care and personal goals?

Future Considerations

1. How do we feel about the age gap between our children? Will it affect our family dynamic in ways we need to consider?

2. If something unexpected happens (job loss, illness, etc.), do we feel prepared to handle it with another child?

3. How do we feel about our family size in the long term? Will we feel content with this decision in 5–10 years?

At PMHC Chicago we believe the preconception stage is also a part of the perinatal period. Reach out today to engage with these questions alongside a mental health provider on our team. We offer individual and couples therapy as well as support groups.