What Loved Ones Can Actually Do to Support New Parents Postpartum
By Jen Kost, MSW, LCSW, PMH-C and Doula
In the postpartum period, so much emphasis gets placed on the baby that it becomes easy to forget the people who are doing the nonstop, tender, disorienting work of becoming parents. The truth is that the most meaningful support is rarely glamorous. It is practical, steady, and oriented toward giving parents the space and energy to bond, recover, and find their footing. When people ask how they can help, they often imagine rocking the baby or offering advice. In reality, the strongest support allows parents to parent while others step in to lighten everything else.
Support begins with the basics. Cooking nourishing meals, washing dishes, wiping down surfaces, cleaning bathrooms, folding laundry, and keeping bottles or pump parts ready make an enormous difference. These tasks feel small, yet they free up hours of mental and physical energy that are desperately needed for healing and connecting. A warm meal or a load of laundry done without fanfare is often more supportive than any pep talk.
There are also the little household responsibilities that keep life running in the background but feel overwhelming when you’re sleeping in two-hour stretches. Watering the plants, shoveling snow, cutting the lawn, taking out the trash, feeding pets, and running quick errands contribute to a sense of stability during a time when everything else feels new. These acts tell the parents: “You focus on your baby. I’ve got the rest.”
Physical nourishment matters too. Keeping a parent’s water bottle filled, prepping snacks they can grab with one hand, or offering a gentle back massage can help their nervous system settle. These moments of care help support emotional regulation, reduce stress, and remind the parent that they are not doing this alone.
One of the most overlooked forms of support is helping parents access professional care. Reaching out to lactation consultants, pelvic floor physical therapists, mental health providers, postpartum doulas, or other specialists can be a lifeline. New parents often don’t have the bandwidth to navigate logistics, insurance, or scheduling. When someone can step in and coordinate those details, it allows parents to receive the care they deserve much sooner.
And yes… sometimes the best support is baby snuggles, but only when the parents want that. The goal is not to take over the primary bond but to help parents rest, bathe, eat, or simply breathe for a few minutes. There is immense tenderness in being flexible: letting the parents hold their baby when they want to, and gladly holding the baby when they need a moment to restore themselves.
Postpartum support is ultimately about preserving the precious early days of connection. It is about letting the parents be with their baby while you hold them—through action, presence, and love. The more we shift our mindset from “let me hold the baby” to “let me lighten your load so you can hold your baby,” the more supported, grounded, and seen new parents will feel.
