Why Every New Parent Should Consider Therapy
By Jen Kost, MSW, LCSW, PMH-C
Welcoming a new child is a profound, life-altering experience. Alongside the joy, there can be confusion, overwhelm, and emotional whiplash. As a perinatal mental health therapist, I often say that becoming a parent shines a spotlight on your own childhood—and what you discover in that light can be unexpectedly complex.
Parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s shaped by the stories we carry, the coping strategies we learned long ago, and the wounds that still live quietly under the surface. The moment we become parents, we’re often triggered by things we didn’t even know were still hurting. A baby's cries might bring up memories of being left alone or unheard. Tantrums can provoke intense responses rooted in how we were disciplined. These moments offer opportunities not only to care for your child—but to reparent your inner child.
Dr. Becky Kennedy, psychologist and founder of Good Inside, says:
“I often think that parenting is really an exercise in our own development and growth; when we have kids, we are confronted with so many truths about ourselves, our childhoods, and our relationships with our families of origin. And while we can use this information to learn and unlearn, break cycles, and heal, we have to do this work while also caring for our kids, managing tantrums, getting by on limited sleep, and feeling depleted. That’s a lot.”
(Kennedy, 2022)
Parenting does not require perfection—it’s about being emotionally regulated enough to model calm for your child, to repair with them when you make mistakes, and to be a safe place for them to explore their feelings. Therapy helps parents develop the skills to pause before reacting in order to respond in a way that aligns with their values, not their triggers. It helps them differentiate between their child's needs and their own unresolved emotions.
In therapy, new parents can explore:
Emotional identification and regulation: Learning to notice, name, and soothe big feelings rather than act them out.
Attachment and relational patterns: Understanding how early relationships shape how we show up for our children.
Boundaries and self-care: Holding space for yourself while holding your baby.
Grief and identity shifts: Honoring the losses and transformations that come with becoming a parent.
There is no shame in needing help during this transition—in fact, it's one of the most emotionally demanding times in a person's life. Therapy offers a space to slow down, reflect, and make meaning of this wild, tender chapter. You don’t have to do it alone, and you’re not failing if it feels hard.
You’re becoming.
So is your child.
And therapy can help you as you grow.
Citations:
Kennedy, B. (2022). Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. Harper Wave.
