How Partners Can Support Mental Health During Postpartum
By Emma Clark, Psychotherapy Intern
Welcoming a new baby is such a big shift, not just for the birthing parent and baby, but for the whole family. As a doula and therapist-in-training, I’ve seen how much love, joy, exhaustion, and vulnerability can all show up at once in those early weeks. While so much attention naturally goes to the birthing parent and the baby, partners are deeply impacted too, and they play a vital role in shaping how the postpartum experience unfolds.
Here are some ways partners can support both their own mental health and that of their loved one during this tender time:
Learn and Plan Together
Take time to learn about postpartum mental health, what’s normal, what might signal a need for extra support, and where to find resources. Books like The Postpartum Partner by Karen Kleiman or the Postpartum Support International website can be really helpful. It can also make a huge difference to sit down together and talk through expectations, needs, and worries before challenges come up. Even a loose plan can help ease the transition.
Listen Without Jumping to Fix
Postpartum emotions run the full spectrum: joy, grief, wonder, exhaustion, overwhelm. It’s all part of the process. What often helps most is listening, really listening, without rushing in to solve. Try asking, “How are you feeling today?” and holding space for the answer, even if it’s hard.
Offer Specific Help
Instead of “What can I do?” try offering concrete support: “I’ll hold the baby while you shower,” or “I’m starting laundry, want me to add anything?” Taking initiative lightens your partner’s mental load. Being hands-on with baby care also matters, even if your partner is the one breastfeeding. If you feel unsure, take it as an opportunity to learn, watch a video, ask a nurse, or practice together.
Help Them Reconnect With Themselves
It’s common for new parents to feel like they’ve lost a piece of themselves. You can play an important role in reminding your partner they’re still them, valuable and whole beyond caregiving. Encourage time for activities, relationships, or simple moments that help them feel like themselves again.
Care for Your Own Mental Health
You matter in this transition too. About 1 in 10 partners experience postpartum depression, and many more feel overwhelmed or isolated. Rest when you can, lean on trusted friends or family, and reach out for professional support if you need it. Taking care of yourself helps you show up more fully for your family.
Here are some specific ways to support in the postpartum period:
Practical Support
Keep snacks and water nearby (especially during feeds)
Handle meals (cook, order, or set up a meal train)
Take over household chores (laundry, dishes, trash)
Run errands, pay bills, or manage appointments
Take a night shift if possible (burping, diaper changes, soothing)
Gently limit visitors so your partner doesn’t feel overwhelmed
Track supplies so nothing runs out
Help with baby care (bathing, tummy time, baby wearing)
Emotional Support
Offer reassurance: “You’re doing an amazing job”
Check in daily about them, not just the baby
Validate feelings, no fixing needed
Encourage rest without guilt
Notice signs of sadness or overwhelm and suggest breaks or support
Relational Support
Use “we” language: “We’re learning this together”
Show affection, small gestures count
Protect a few minutes of couple time each day
Acknowledge the invisible work they’re carrying
Thoughtful Extras
Run a warm bath or create a cozy resting space
Make a “postpartum nest” with pillows, snacks, and a charger
Capture small moments in photos or notes
Speak up at medical appointments if your partner needs backup
