Healing Is Not Linear

By Jen Kost, MSW, LCSW, PMH-C

There is a persistent myth in mental health care that healing should look like a straight line. That once someone has done therapy, stabilized on medication, or learned coping tools, there should be no more hard days. No more triggers. No more moments of needing extra support. This belief can be especially heavy during the perinatal period, when emotional vulnerability is already heightened by profound physical, hormonal, relational, and identity shifts.

Experiencing triggers is not a setback. Returning to therapy is not a failure. Going back on medication does not mean something has gone wrong. These moments often represent something very different. They reflect insight, attunement, and self awareness.

Healing does not erase lived experience. The nervous system remembers what has happened, especially when experiences involved fear, loss, pain, or overwhelm. Pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting can activate earlier wounds precisely because they touch such tender places. The goal of healing was never to delete history or become unaffected by it. That is not how human nervous systems work.

The true marker of healing is not the absence of activation. It is the response to activation.

Healing shows up when a trigger is noticed sooner rather than later. It shows up when there is an ability to pause and name what is happening internally. It shows up when self compassion replaces self criticism in moments of struggle. It shows up when choices become more adaptive even if the feelings themselves are still intense.

Returning to therapy can be a sign of growth. It reflects the ability to say support is needed right now. Going back on medication can be an act of care rather than defeat. It can mean honoring the reality of biology, hormones, sleep deprivation, trauma history, or current stressors. Seeking support does not undo progress. It builds on it.

In the perinatal period especially, mental health needs can change over time. What worked during pregnancy may not be enough postpartum. What felt manageable before parenting may feel different after. This does not mean something is broken. It means the context has changed.

Healing is often quieter than expected. It lives in the moments when tools are used instead of ignored. It lives in reaching out instead of isolating. It lives in the ability to say this is hard and I deserve support. It lives in choosing care again and again.

Progress is not measured by never struggling. Progress is measured by how someone responds when struggle shows up.

Knowing personal limits. Knowing when to ask for help. Knowing which tools are needed and when to use them. These are not signs of regression. They are signs of wisdom.

Healing is not about becoming someone who never needs support. Healing is about becoming someone who knows how to support themselves with compassion, flexibility, and care when life asks more of them.